


Trust

by lemon_squeezy



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: A True Story, Angst, Anxiety, Break Up, Depression, F/M, Heartbreak, I need your help, Life Problems, Love, One Shot, Pain, Real Life, Relationship(s), Romance, Short & Sweet, Trust Issues, based in my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 12:25:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17203373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_squeezy/pseuds/lemon_squeezy
Summary: A short text about the end of a relationship.





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if it's good, but I just wanted to put into words everything that was going on inside my head.

We started talking and I didn't take you too seriously. Since I am always with barriers built around me so I don't allow myself to trust and consequently to be disappointed by people. However, you didn't give up and kept saying you would love to know more about me, about what scares me, and what are the things that makes me feel at least one drop of happiness.

 However, I remained skeptical. Why would anyone be interested in knowing such things about me? I'm just a normal girl, with a normal life and not at all interesting. Moreover, my past experiences were a constant reminder that trusting someone is extremely dangerous.

 Nevertheless, you kept trying. You said I could trust you because you wanted to be by my side in the good and bad situations. I, deluded by your beautiful words, trusted you and opened up myself. I revealed everything that had happened to me, things that I have never told anyone about, because I was so ashamed to be hypocritical or stupid to feel hurt about such events. I made a long text about my story and sent it just for you. Only you have been able to break my protective walls. I felt so saved because instead of criticizing me, you just said that you wouldn't let anything and no one hurt me ever again.

 I liked you because you were different. Unlike the other boys. Even a little strange, like I told you a few times. All your oddities were appealing to me, for it seemed we were two broken beings that only worked together. You understood my singularities and I understood yours.

 I went to sleep thinking about our conversations, I dreamed about you and woke up with the hope of having a message from you waiting for me. Your presence in my life made me raise new questions, that maybe I was wrong all along and, somewhere, there is a person made just for me. A person with whom I could share my deepest secrets without fear, because you would always be by my side - at least that's what you told me.

 Furthermore, I knew you had your own barriers and uncertainties. You asked me to promise to be with you even in your worst hours, and of course I promised it. You asked if I could sing for you during your sleep and of course I said yes. I knew you needed someone by your side as much as I did. I wanted to be that person to you and I hoped that you would be that someone to me.

 I always thought those nicknames couples used were cheesy, but when you called me 'baby' or 'Caroly,' I swear my heart melted. Only you had that power over me with just two simple words. Just you and nobody else.

 I revealed to you about my anxiety and depression problems. How difficult it was for me to get out of bed and do something different, yet you helped me in that too. I left my comfort zone and started walking through my neighborhood, admiring the trees, the small animals and everything that I stayed days without seeing, since I was always locked in my room. You supported me in my decisions, always encouraging me to give my best, because in your words, I deserved only the good things in life. The feeling of having someone supporting me at the most difficult times was incredible. I was trusting someone. Unfortunately, this someone still didn't trust me.

 I tried to show you in every way you could tell me everything, without judgments on my part or without threats to ever leaving you. But your shields were stronger than mine. So, all the confidence I gave you, you could never give it back to me.

 I have never been able to act like the real me in anyone’s side but yours. Whereas, you are as wounded as I am. But you've always been suspicious of me. Have I never been able to show all my affection and comprehension? If I had tried a little more, would you understand that the only thing I want is for you to feel good? Should I have promised more times that I would always be with you? Was it me or the two of us? I just wanted to understand what went wrong, but now you're gone.

 You left saying I deserved someone better in my life and that the happiness I felt by your side was fleeting. You left saying you wanted only the best for me and that it didn't include you. You asked me if I would just let you go, I would answer with all the beautiful words I found to tell you how much you mattered to me and that we could work on our problems together. Just like normal couples do.

 I know we are two broken people and, maybe you're right. We need to patch ourselves up. However, the little moments at your side, made me feel really wanted. You said you wanted to be only with me, that you were attracted to all of my personality and for all that I am. No one ever told me any of that, just you.

 I know that the probability of us meeting again is not high, but I hope with all heart that one day, when we are a little more healed of the impacts of life, we can try again. Truly trusting each other.


End file.
